I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
