you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
