Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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