Pappa wants mamma naked
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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