so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
