she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
