i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
