is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
