my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
