Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
