she looked like the bat from fern gully.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
