Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You pole danced in your parka.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
