Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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