I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
