Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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