she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i believe in u and ur pee
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