does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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