Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
