That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
