That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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