white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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