I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
