We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
