So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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