He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
