Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
NoShamevember. You game?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
