i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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