Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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