My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
