she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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