Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
