Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
