ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
