You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
