I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
