It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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