I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Green mimosas i think yes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
