Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
