i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
