So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
