I'm eating all of the evidence.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
