mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
