I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
