i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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