like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
