I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
and she was petting her beer can
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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