I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
