ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
