"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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