you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
